The Unwritten Life

(Poem I wrote for college writing)

Austin
Picturing you,
freckles lightly scattered across your face, like Stephanie.
Squinty blue eyes, like Cory;
and strawberry blonde hair
cascading across your large forehead, like Caleb.
Unfortunately,
you will forever be a mental image,
solely existing in my mind, never escaping.

I imagine,
griping over sharing a car,
ungrateful brats, unaware of our numerous blessings.
Lounging in the homey living room,
stressing over
homework,
college apps,
our future.
Talking about our
worries,
fears,
and failures,
confiding in each other-
best friends to no end.
Through it all, depending on you to get me through my worst nightmares.
Sadly,
you’re only alive in my vast imagination.

I wonder,
how different my life would be
if I had my partner in crime
fighting this cruel world beside me.

I could spend an eternity pondering “if only land,”
imagining what life would have been like with my other half-
my twin, Austin.
But I shan’t dwell too long,
it won’t bring him back.
It won’t make life fair
or help me understand why I lived
and he died.

So instead of mulling,
I must move on.
Remembering everything happens for a reason,
a reason for my parent’s loss,
and a reason for my life.

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