Vulnerability

After a long day I came home and took a nap. Three hours later it was 11 o’clock and my phone was screeching in my ear with my dad’s name on the screen. I couldn’t figure out where I was or how I got there. What day it was not to mention the time; and I didn’t like it. Not knowing something, anything, is scary, it makes me feel vulnerable.

Then I realized, that’s all life is: scary and full of vulnerability. We’re constantly doing new things that we’re not good at yet or possibly never will be. Why try then? If it’s scary, why even attempt?

If I had never done anything I was afraid of I wouldn’t be able to ride a bike, do a flip on a trampoline, felt the the thrill of telling a boy I liked him through a text or a friend because that’s how middle school works, drive a stick shift, turned in the application that got me my job, gone to public school, and much more.

At first I thought that I didn’t know where I was in life or how I got here but now, I know. I’m in the confusing stage of young adulthood and I got here day by day, mistake by mistake, with hardships and happiness along the way. It wasn’t one key event that got me to where I am at this moment, it was all the small insubstantial ones.

What comes next is the question. Sure, it’s scary but where would I really be without facing my fears?

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