It’s been a trend in my family to marry young. Not because we’re strangely religious or conservative, but because they knew what they wanted; kudos to them. All of my siblings, their spouses, and my parents tied the knot by 21, the youngest being 18. When you know, you know; or so I’ve heard..
Although sometimes kidding, I think people make assumptions that I’ll follow suit. Recently I’ve received comments about my love life; or you could say non-existent love life. Such as: “When are you going to get married?” Somewhat jokingly. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” “We like all the in-laws so far, don’t mess it up.”
This frustrates me. Let me just hop in my time machine and let you know when the special day is. What’s it to you if I don’t have a boyfriend? And clearly it’s my duty to make sure that everyone approves.
Family gatherings can be difficult, I won’t deny it. Being the only one lacking a significant other can be lonely. Everyone has their partner for games while I tag along with a couple of my choosing. Everyone having that partner’s shoulder to cry on at our Grandpa’s funeral.
Let me be clear, I don’t think poorly of those who marry young, whatsoever. Not that it would matter if I did.
What I do have a problem with is people making comments that make an eighteen-year-old woman feel pressured to get a move on; in any way, even if it’s just to have a boyfriend. As if it’s normal to marry young or it’s weird that I’m still single.
I’ve had the fairy tale misconception in my head since I was young that women are to marry prince charming, have babies, and stay home with those babies, while the strong successful husband provides for wife and said babies.
Of course, I desire that feeling of unconditional love someday. Knowing what it’s like to share my life with someone, faults and all.
BUT I also desire to love myself, become my own person; to have a chance to be independent and make something of myself.
I’ve learned that it’s okay for me to take my dear old time, I mean come on, I’m eighteen. I’ve learned that if I never get married or have kids, there’s a reason. I’ve learned I can be successful on my own, that I can take care of myself. I’ve learned that I don’t need a man to complete me.